How to be a perverted Seme
by Pratty-Matty
Summary: Always wonder how Sasuke because the dominating Seme in almost all SasuNaru fics? Here are the simple steps. Enter Sasuke's classroom for the perverted and innocent. WARNING You WILL learn things here that your teachers won't tell you.


**How to be a Perverted Seme: Less Thinking, More Touching-**

**Now you unclassified seme's can follow in my wonderful footsteps with this very simple 10 level program! Follow all of the steps in their exact order...or you'll be shot by the receiving uke. Trust me, you will.**

**Level one- Turn off the censor.**

**-You have to push all of those little angel voices out of your head. Clear your mind of all purity. (or at least most of it, the rest will soon follow)**

**Level 2-learn some of the terminology.**

**-This should help you remove the last of your innocence. After this level you start to find simple statements more disturbing and start laughing at what appears to be nothing in public. For example: You yell to your friend "Hurry up!" their response "I'm coming" Will make you break in to a fit of laughter.**

**Level 3-Food you MUST exile.**

**-Yes, there are certain foods that your uke will NEVER be able to eat again! Some of these things include: Popsicles, Vanilla ice cream, vanilla yogurt, and lollipops. There are countless others but you'll know them when you see your uke eating them.**

**Level 4- An alternative to level 3.**

**-If you can control yourself enough to let your uke eat these foods make sure you don't tackle them while eating them. Choking isn't sexy.**

**Level 5-Toys**

**-All seme's have some sort of toy. Yours are just going to be more perverted! **

**Level 6-continuation of 5**

**-Now, All perverted seme's have some sort of outrageous fetish. Whether it be chains, or whips, or some really embarrassing or demeaning out fit your uke doesn't seem to like it. Not like your uke's opinion matters any way, they're the ones being ravished.**

**Level 7-forget the rules!**

**-When you were little your teachers always said "hands to your self!" That rule no longer applys! Your hands are NEVER to leave your uke unless you are forced to split up for some sort of massively important thing; classes, bathroom (that one is negotiable depending on the gender of your uke), or if you meet their family.**

**Level 8-the most awkward of times.**

**-no time is off limits to do things to your uke. In short: you want it, you get it!**

**Level 9-Closets are your friends**

**-There are closets literally everywhere no matter where you go. they are very private and secluded minus a few brooms or coats. No one ever pays attention to them either...by now you should know what I'm thinking**

**Level 10-you get a replacement for those little angel voices you start out with.**

**-When you started out you had the little angel voices that told you what not to do to your uke. Well, those are LONG gone. But you get a fair replacement: The little devil that wants to ravish your uke! This voice will NEVER shut up no matter how much counseling or meditation you do. Best idea is just to just listen to it and give in to the perverted things it wants you to do to your uke.**

**You have survived the "How to be a Perverted Seme: Less Thinking, More Touching" course! You just have 1 more test of your abilities as a pervert seme!**

**The following scenario is a test of your abilities! SO DON'T FAIL!**

**You come home late, like REALLY late. Your uke has been expecting you for hours and you know you've disappointed them. You walk in the door throw down your stuff and head for the bedroom. You open the door to the bedroom and you see your uke with only underwear on. With the blush steadally creeping across your face you do the only thing you see fit and...**

**a)Pounce, so what if they're asleep! You are seme and what you want you get!**

**b)get dressed for bed and lie down next to them, no point in waking them up now.**

**c)stare at them for 10 more minutes imagining what you could do to them**

**d)Tie them up and wait to see their reaction when they wake up.**

**e) A and D**

**f) C and D**

**g) C and A**

**if you answered:**

**a) You have passed**

**b)you FAIL! Were you even paying attention to what I was saying?! You weren't were you! **

**c)meh, it's an improvement but you need more work. / You should really re-read this.**

**d)You pass, but just barely**

**e)YOU PASS WITH F FLYING COLORS! D**

**f)Pass with a slightly above average score.**

**g)A little slow but you did fairly well.**


End file.
